remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
