did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
