My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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