I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
