We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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