i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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