ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
