Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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