yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
