I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
