He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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