but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
