so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
