College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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