just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
