He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
