so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
