also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize