He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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