please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
