I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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