The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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