her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
