I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
