I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
