I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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