Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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