I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
only you would photoshop your dick
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We have started to decorate penises.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
