Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
