Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
