"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
