Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
