i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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