I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
