Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
