im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
