I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
