went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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