Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize