dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize