I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
