i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
