just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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