Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
