When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
