i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
