I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
