this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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