I'm drive I can fine osifer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
