"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize