Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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