Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
