and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
soo... how was my night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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