Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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