I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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