I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
