speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize