I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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