chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
