Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
