Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
