Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
